Subtlety

I remember years back, subtlety was one of my most valued traits. In some ways life depended on it. I judged people mindlessly, if they were not subtle. I discarded them like junk mail. Now a few years later, for some unknown reason, I'm quite a stranger to the state of being subtle.  I no longer seem to be, or can be subtle. It worries me, like a cancer.

I do believe that memories are sometimes lost forever, it's difficult to recall exact situations or words that people said. But the feelings can be recalled quite easily. (being a woman n all, like they say, emotion emotion emotion...eh)

When I was a more subtle being, I felt...
Constrained...because everything was crafted according to certain ideals/rules...subtlety being fine, detailed and intricate...which created pressure
Frustrated...because alot of people did not catch onto subtletys

I also felt...
Powerful...on the plus side, things got done, with people mostly, and often needed alot of interacting
Sexy...subtlety is fine. Refined. So there's a certain sense of class.

So my question is, can subtlety be the art of a prisoner?
Someone who is restricted. Who does not express the magnitude of their feelings but only a lingering thought, hoping to trigger the expression of others so that they can complete and fulfill the speaker's need to express?

So basically, is subtlety a soft introduction, a murmur of an idea, or a flowing small, induced spin...

In chinese philosophy, the thing which has no strong bearings can not be defeated. It's not to say that it has no form, it's like a snowflake. Something small. Fine. Delicate.
Like Lao Tsu said, if something is tiny, no one will notice it. It doesn't attract triumph or defeat.
In a way that is the life I want to live.

In western thought, religion, God is subtle. Is there truth in that?
Why does western and eastern thought on subtlety overlap?

What is the meaning of subtlety?
How does one be subtle?
What if you are not subtle?
Why do people lean towards the subtle?

Is it because force tend to destroy?
Should life still be a balance of subtlety and ______?