The worrying factor on why work plays an insanely amount of control over my mood

So I'm bummed. I have no idea why work effects me so much. To a disabling degree, every slight, microscopic nuance, the tiniest nuisance, anything and everything can drastically bring my self esteem from 100 to 0 or from 0 up to 500. And it can make me break out in tears, or jump with joy. It's very very disturbing. I have no idea why this is the case as I consciously am not very into my work. When I think about it, it is important but not so important that it feels like I am dismantling everytime anything happens.

So to break this psychosis down:

- I care about it more than I think I do
- There are lots of people, so I am susceptible to other's comments, opinions and impressions
- In other words I care too much about what others think
- So in other other words, I have a self esteem issue
- I already know this yet signs above show I have not overcome

So...

A) I have become complacent with my self esteem issue and thus 'live with it'
- Which leads to an outer focus, so not enough focus on the inside, too external, controlled completely by external stimuli

B) Other reasons

I lean towards B because it sounds simpler, exploration is always preferred as what I find might be quite ugly. This is again, a cheap cowardly route.

So If I go with A, I will need to think alot about how to solve this.
I have promised my friend AT that I will have some time alone to work this out.

Isn't life just fucking difficult? l o l. ah.