Insanitas 8:06 AM

I couldn't be bothered anymore. And yes it's not a good attitude but because I can't be bothered about my attitude right now either.

What should I say, or write. Life has it's strange phases. This is definately one of them.

Deien Aulin, Gab and Jellycuz 3:36 PM

At Room 15 of the Radisson Hotel:

Gab       : Okay. Jelly. You sit here.

Jellycuz :Geez...so demanding dude.

Gab       :Just sit and wait for Deien. 

Jellycuz :Man this is bad. My mom's gonna kill me! How did I even get here?


Gab       : By magic.

Jellycuz :No seriously dude. This one time I heard on the TV that some dudes took a chick and then sold her to snake charmers so she can pull in business for them.

Gab       :Ah, the snake wasn't enough then.
 

Jellycuz :So you guys going to rape me or something now.

Gab       : Ah.

Jellycuz: Yeah I thought so ! I better run... hehehehe.

Gab      : Just wait for Deien. And he can take you to people who will buy you.

Jellycuz: Don't joke! No ways. I know you guys are the good guys. Like Wardent.
Gab     : Okay. I'm going to go get lunch.

Jellycuz:Geez who eats lunch at 5.

Gab    : People who are hungry. Still.

Gab   : Oh I think it's Deien at the door.

Deien:  Hey Gab. Gabbit.

Gab: You're finally here. Thank god.

Deien: I know you missed me.

Gab: No, I just don't miss jelly. Outgrew it. Very quickly.

Deien: Hey...Jellycuz. So this is you.

Jellycuz: Uh Hey.

Gab: All yours. Goodbye. Tell Wardent we're not his babysitters.

Deien: Okay. Only if he tells you I'm not your messenger.

Gab: Deien, get a grip. You love this. Babysit jelly. Wobbly-doo and all that shit. Get on it. And I don't mean literally. Wardent will bust a nut by your squirrel crotch.

Deien: Aren't you hungry?

Gab: Wow. How did you know. See you in five hours. I want results! Results! Stuff that shows the plane's going to fly!

Deien: Trust me. I'll make sure of it.

Gab: Bye.

Jellycuz: Can I come to lunch with you?

Gab: No. Because you're Deien's lunch. Cheers.


Jellycuz: Okay so are you Wardent's friend? The one who does the lifting thing?

Deien: Lifting...you mean  air-lift dynamics. Yes, that's my thing. Lifting, dynamics.

Jellycuz: So what are you going to do to me?

Deien: You offered yourself to Wardent as a test passenger. So in other words you offered yourself to me.

Jellycuz: Okay so wat do I have to do?

Deien: For now. Sit. And then, I'm going to check how much you fidget. I'll test your shuffle-to-still rate and see how I need to compensate for that in the air-lift.

Jellycuz: Um. Okay.

Deien: Don't be scared. You'll always have me.

Jellycuz: Can you stop staring at my boobs. It's really annoying.

Deien: Would you rather have me stare at my own boobs.

Jellycuz: You don't have them.

Deien: Are you sure? I can show you where I keep my boobs...do you want to see?

Jellycuz: Eeewww no...man. Whatever when I can get up?

Deien: When you see my boobs.

Jellycuz: Damn I really wish Wardent is here.

Deien: He's doing the rounds with Hades. He'll be back in abit.

Jellycuz: Okay so are my tests normal?

Deien: You've got a shuffle-to-still ratio of 5 to 1.

Jellycuz; What that mean?

Deien: It means you can't sit still.

Jellycuz: So...is that bad?

Deien: No.  But dance for me.

Gab & Mark 5:08 PM

Gab  : Hey

Mark: Oh no.

Gab  : No man...don't go. We got business. Despite the fact that you don't care, the plane's going to fly. And if it doesn't. I'm going to shoot you in the right foot. Because you'll work better as a cripple. And even if that wasn't true, I'd be too pissed off with you so I would shoot you in the foot anyways. Now as you know, my aim is not like my younger days. So I might miss your foot and shoot you in the head instead. Now you listen to me, or I might get too pissed so I just shoot you.



Mark: There's such a vastness between us.  But I sense your urgency.

Gab  : Get to work.


Mark: You're a man of so many words.

Gab  : Fuck it Mark. Get to it.


Mark: I can't get to it if Wardent isn't here. Where is he?

Gab  : Probably fucking Jellycuz.


Mark: No really. I need him on this. Is he dead?

Gab  : I don't think you understand my threats very well.

Mark: Yes yes you going to shoot me. So what, people get shot everyday. But I'm scared the plane won't fly. Or it'll crash.

Gab : So can we please start working.

Mark: Need Wardent.


Gab : This is the most circular conversation I've had in ages.


Mark:Yeah I love you too.

Gab  :Ok. I'm busy locating Wardent now...give me a minute.


Mark:Hurry it up.

Gab  :Or what?


Mark:Or I'm going to shoot you.

Gab  :That circular thing I was speaking of...
          Ok. Got a lead. Wardent is in fact dead. Chilling with Hades on the other side. He won't be back
         until...in two hours time. We'll have to start without him. Any ideas?


Mark:Well I can run some tests on the paper gel.

Gab : I'm going to go get lunch.

Mark:I noticed that sense of Gab-urgency earlier...was that...

Gab  : Hunger.

My Star Trek Voyager Crew! Captain's log... 4:18 AM

KSo I photoshopped my friends into Star Trek Voyager characters.  The child in me lay dormant but one day, I said, fuck the design-artsy-fartsy, I want my own trek crew, yo.

I present:

 

Captain K as Janeway

(I'm the Captain of course)

 

Commander Naude as Chekotay

  

Lieutenant Oki as Tuvok

 

Seven of Natalie as Seven of Nine

 

Lieutenant Saunders as B'elanna Torres

  

Ensign Tu as Harry Kim

Please make my day, just one day, make this your FB profile pic. I'll love you long time. 

Captain K out.

!!Hi guys, here's me and my federation starfleet!! 2:35 PM

I can be all serious and tell you that friendship is a blessing, I can also bring it down to the bottom of the pit and tell you what a sad existence us humans lead that our mere seventy odd years are condensed into some blurred memories of the joys we shared with a handful of people out of the twelve billion. But on another happier note - I love my friends, as much as I love Adidas, as much as Osaka Miller, and the truth is, at least my friends exist. Yes you, I just have to tell you, baby you rock my world. Times ten.  Wooo, stick it there, lay on me, touch my fuzzy corner and I'll give you all my luv.

This entry is dedicated to my lovelies (in alphabetical order): Natalie Saunders, Natalie Wooding, Neil Naude and Ockert van Niekerk.

Otherwise as known (in my wonderful kimiverse) Captain Kim's Starfleet Federation!!!!
Pew pew pew!


Natalie Saunders
============

 

That's her on top :P

This is my favourite photo of Natalie S. And it might seem like it's because I am in it, but I swear it's not my ego's choice! I love her expression, she seems to be in a sort of trance. And that jacket suits her so well, like a mystic bear lady from the future living in nature's hyperspace. 

When I first met her I thought she was a stoner and that she liked burning incense. But oooh no, I was wrong. She just has a fine appreciation for nature and animals which is truly admirable. Whenever I talk to her I feel like I should eat one animal less. And that jacket she's got on, it's faux fur!

Natalie is a very talented lady at coming up with the most random of ideas, but all her ideas are kind and thoughtful. 
 

Her taste in music is another matter, she prefers to listen to Hill Billy music which I never quite understood.  She also gets into many cute "kawaii" clumsy moments. She's basically a genius ditz.  The mad scientist. The compassionate alchemist of feelings and memories. I can go on forever with my own descriptions but let me just say she's awesome.

(I tried to find a picture of her with lots of cleavage because I think she might like that and you might like that but sorry guys!)

Natalie Wooding

===========

 

I love Natalie W because she is always so sweet yet hardcore. That's the best way I can describe it. She really doesn't give a shit about what you think yet she'll listen to what you think. Thats my impression of this lovely friend.

She is the best when she is slightly drunk and starts singing random songs and make great noises (not those kind, though I've heard some too hehe).

Natalie has her own way of living which is really cool for someone her age, not that she is alot younger than me but I always thought of her as the more mature one. Unless she gets a bit tipsy and starts singing porno songs. I wish I have a video clip of her dance routine it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

I remember the only time she ever ever got really mad with me was when I messed some milkshake on her new couch :P I feel grateful and sometimes surprised she is still my friend and find me half amusing. What a darling child, and if I may be cheesy, i uuuu!


Neil Naude
========

Neil is another scientist, he is a Tarzan scientist. And most people respect him for that. His generosity is always amazing. He wants to tell the whole world and spread the love of RAWRness which is great because there are no manly men left in this world it seems.

Whenever I feel bad I always chat to him because he will listen for a while and then totally distract me to something else making my problem seem insignificant! And if it's a real issue he actually talks about it. And with me most of the time it's not a real issue only stupid inbetween ones.

Neil climbs and does engineering. Which makes him a mountain jock with a technical sensibility. He hasn't had such great luck with the womens, and seem to have missed out on his youth, which I blame society because Im sure he will agree that it is because they just could not deal with his awesomeness.

It's rare to find people like him who never say no to life. And on the lighter side, he makes a joke of things often which is great:) The last thing you want is a tarzan scientist with an ego! And he doesn't have that so it makes his awesomeness even more awesome.


Ockert van Niekerk
==============

 

(The tin man who's looking for his heart muhaha)

Ockert is my free psychologist. He is very good with other people's problems, especially mine. Unlike Neil he tries a different way of approaching my "OMG PLS HELP ME" type of conversations, by digging into the problem and actually offer me psychological advice I'd even pay for, maybe by the hour:P

But aside from what I get out of his juicy mind, is of course the giggles and shocking behaviour. Sometimes he bangs his head on the table or say something really obscure. I can never quite understand him and I think he thinks people does. 

He hates trashy and shallow like how we hate taxi's. And I think he hates taxi's alot too. Ocki on the other hand is full of fuzzy and bubbles, very delightful and made of cheesy bits here and there. Like a marshmellow that just needs some lurv!

=====================================================================

Well that's all folks, 2nd part coming soon! 

LOVE YOU LONG TIME,

K

The worrying factor on why work plays an insanely amount of control over my mood 1:36 AM

So I'm bummed. I have no idea why work effects me so much. To a disabling degree, every slight, microscopic nuance, the tiniest nuisance, anything and everything can drastically bring my self esteem from 100 to 0 or from 0 up to 500. And it can make me break out in tears, or jump with joy. It's very very disturbing. I have no idea why this is the case as I consciously am not very into my work. When I think about it, it is important but not so important that it feels like I am dismantling everytime anything happens.

So to break this psychosis down:

- I care about it more than I think I do
- There are lots of people, so I am susceptible to other's comments, opinions and impressions
- In other words I care too much about what others think
- So in other other words, I have a self esteem issue
- I already know this yet signs above show I have not overcome

So...

A) I have become complacent with my self esteem issue and thus 'live with it'
- Which leads to an outer focus, so not enough focus on the inside, too external, controlled completely by external stimuli

B) Other reasons

I lean towards B because it sounds simpler, exploration is always preferred as what I find might be quite ugly. This is again, a cheap cowardly route.

So If I go with A, I will need to think alot about how to solve this.
I have promised my friend AT that I will have some time alone to work this out.

Isn't life just fucking difficult? l o l. ah.

The music. 2010 January. 80's album covers. Uffie vs Ke$ha. 2:03 AM

I looked at the Billboard top 100's, nothing truly surprising, but still enough to be mused over about.

For example, look at these album covers. Doesn't this remind you of all the ballad albums they had in the 80s?

(Alicia Keys, Mary J Blidge, Rihanna, Susan Boyle)

I got Alicia Keys new album today. The Element of Freedom ( The intro goes..."and the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed and a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom")

It's fantastic. She's added some electronic sounds, lost her deep soulful voice at parts and replaced it with something softer, more charming. Big ups for her. On the WIKI entry, there are 10 different popular crit reviews of her album - mostly giving her a 6-7 outa 10 for her efforts. I say they are old farts, who hate to see good singers sound "pop". I personally like it. It's a change.

Still remember Alicia's first song Falling? It had prison guards and female prisoners hehe.

I wonder if they wanted to sell her off as the thug love bonnie n clyde lady of soul.

And somehow wind up being an international hit.

See the Fallin' video screencap below, pretty funny eh? hehe

 

(She is inside the bus) 

So, other than the 80s album covers and my ramblings over Alicia Keys. I notice the charts are mixed with old school soul (mary j blidge, michael buble), mostly ballads (taylor swift, carrie underwood), and this new wave of electro meets pop. Surprisingly, Owl City sounds just like The Postal Service.

Now about Uffie vs Ke$ha:

This article does it perfectly. It's hilarious.
Chicks are going nuts these days. They are wrapping about balls when they don't have them.
So they say they do because they feel that way.
It is a strange world we live in.
But yes, go wild.

Uffie vs. Ke$ha: Let's Pretend This is a Debate Worth Having

 

So you ask why does this matter? I'll blog about that one day:)

Red 11:56 PM

It was just like the old days.
Baby marrows and freshly cut tomatoes.
Talks about love, our existence and the universe.
Strewn over our antics
We'd rejoice, happy to be

Thank you a million times.
I love you forever more.

Wardent & Jellycuz 10:57 AM

Wardent: Hello
Jellycuz: Hihi!:D
Jellycuz: O-k......
Jellycuz: Why did you start chattin n now ur quiet?
Wardent: Thought you were somebody else...
Jellycuz: How did you know I wasn't?
Wardent: She doesn't sound like you :P
Jellycuz: What's that suppose to mean?
Wardent: Nah..just the way you chat
Jellycuz: is there something wrong with it?
Wardent: No
Jellycuz: Mkay
Jellycuz: So who are you? who did u think i waz?
Wardent: a friend of mine. she chats here often in different nicks. Her previous one was cuztard
Jellycuz: Hahahaha
Jellycuz: so what's your name?
Wardent: James
Jellycuz: What's your surname?
Wardent: You ask alot of questions:)
Jellycuz: Lol. i ust saw an image of an old perverted man...
Wardent: Maybe  i am
Jellycuz: so are you?
Wardent: could be:)
Jellycuz: sigh talkin to u 's rly difficult
Wardent: how does easy sound like?
Jellycuz: I dunno...hmm
Jellycuz: so tell me more bout urself?
Wardent: I'm a chemical engineer studying to specialise in paper and pulp, water and waste water processes. You?
Jellycuz: hectic
Jellycuz: I'm still studyin in school....sigh wish it was like over already:/
Wardent: how old are you?
Jellycuz: Oh i'm 16 what bout u?
Wardent: 26
Jellycuz: you're 10 years older! Thats a whole decade dude. So do you mash up the paper and water and add some stuff to make pulp?
Wardent: Something like that :P
Jellycuz: Have you tried it with other stuff?
Wardent: what do you mean?
Jellycuz: Like other things...to make new stuff
Wardent: it's quite detailed. What do you want to do when you finnish school?
Jellycuz: I dunno. but i dont think ill do that paper pulp stuff..sound boring
Wardent: It's not boring. It's actually really interesting.
Jellycuz: pulp!
Wardent: Have you ever heard of a paper aircraft?
Jellycuz: u mean a paper plane :P of course
Wardent: This one can carry people:)
Jellycuz: really?
Wardent: well soon..there will be one, I hope.
Jellycuz: is that what you make?
Wardent: Yes, trying to. I've been working on it for a long time. It's a dream of mine.
Jellycuz: so wait you gona make a giant paper plane that's going to carry people?
Wardent: Something like that:)

Back into mediocrity... 12:45 PM

So the holiday is over.
The skies look the same.
People's faces are left behind.
I've got some pixels to push. Some designs to make. And some art to create.

After all that has been said and done -
The holiday was a blast.
It was like a dream.
Lasted 20 days. Bubble was well formed.
And now, bust.

I thought about everyone.
Bumped into a few.

Everything tells me I need to get out of here.
This is not a poem.